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• If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I?
  If not now, when? -- Rabbi Hillel...
• If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I?
  And if not now, when? -- Rabbi Hillel, 12th Century...
• If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?
  If not now, when? -- Rabbi Hillel, in the _Talmud_...
• Waitress: And for you, sir? Rabbi K: Ah, let's see.
  I want a nice sandwich. But the Joey Bishop, eh, too fatty....
• From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando Valley, VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.
  Here is a sample program: LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100 DO*WAH - (DITTY**2) BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT) SURE LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM REALLY LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW) IM*SURE GOTO THE MALL When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message...
• THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #5: VALGOL From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando Valley, VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.
  Here is a sample program: LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100 DO*WAH - (DITTY**2) BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT) SURE LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM REALLY LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW) IM*SURE GOTO THE MALL When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message...
• Maybe I don't FEEL like smiling
• Lisa: Excuse us, Rabbi Krustofsky? Rabbi K: Oh, what can I do for you, my young friend?
  Bart: We came to talk to you about your son. Rabbi K...
• THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #14 -- VALGOL VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.
  VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, and Y*KNOW....