Related:

• Do what you do in Hollywood. Run drinks, tend bar, gerbil racing. -- James Wood, The Hard Way
• Gerbil-jamming is safe--if you don't share gerbil
• QOTD: "It's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
• QOTD: Silence is the only virtue he has left.
• Skinner: Ah, is there nothing so intoxicating as the school hallway at early morn?
  [sniffs] Hmm, school normally doesn't smell so rank....
• There is no easy way from the earth to the stars. -- Seneca
• How can you tell if your car is a lemon? Your car might be a lemon if
  1) You can't get your glove compartment closed because of all the repair receipts....
• An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed).
  When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage....
• The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.
  "Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity....