Related:

• One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice
  brand- new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear....
• You know that your son is growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and refuses to tell you where he is going.
• QOTD: "It's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
• He's a few cards short of a deck.
• Homer: Son...my dear son, from now I'm going to be a good and attentive father.
  And for starters, your old man is going to teach you how to ride your very first bike....
• You know your son is growing up when he looks at a girl the way he used to look at chocolate cake.
• Wiggum: Son, you wait here while Daddy tries to talk some sense into this raving derelict.
  [the man raves as Wiggum walks up] Wiggum...
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....