Related:

• I came down from Jacksonville on a train that was the slowest train I'd ever been on.
  I said to the conductor, "Can't you run any faster?...
• They try to humiliate you in the hospital. They make you pee in a bottle.
  I hate that. I was in the hospital. The nurse said, "You have to pee in a bottle....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• This morning I caught my wife in a lie ... I'm sitting there in the kitchen, having some coffee, biscuits, some jelly.
  About eleven-thirty my old lady came in, and her wig was amuss....
• Kirk: "Dining on ashes. You all right?" Spock: "It was an arrogant presumption on my part that got us into this situation.
  You and the doctor might have been killed." Kirk...
• A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
  In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat....