WARNING!
This system is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need!
A special circuit in the computer called a "critical detector" senses the
user's emotional state in terms of how desperate they are to get their program
to run. The "critical detector" then creates a bug in the program proportional
to the desperation of the user. Threatening the terminal with violence only
aggravates the situation, causing the program to immediately crash or the
entire system to go down. Likewise, attempts to use another terminal may cause
it to core dump. (They all belong to the same LAN.) Keep cool and say nice
things to the terminal.