We love our little Johnny
He's the best little boy in all the world
And we wouldn't trade him for anything
That's how much we love him.
No, we couldn't live without him
So that's why, since he died,
We keep him safe in our G.E. freezer.
He's so good, so well-behaved,
Even better than before;
Oh, such a wonderful kid he is.
Alice and me, we'll never be lonely,
Never miss our little Johnny,
He'll never grow up and leave us
That's why we love him like we do.
-- Mr. Mincemeat
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
First he asked that the air-conditioning be turned up because he was too hot,
then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold and so on for about
half an hour....