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• I know what you're thinking -- `Did he fire six shots or only five?
  ' Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I kind of lost track myself....
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved dog in his brother's care.
  The minute he's cleared customs, he calls up his brother and inquires after his pet....
• Doug: In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones.
  I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a [the three nerds chuckle] magic xylophone or something?...
• Asking me, asking me: do you know what love is? Sure, I know. A boy loves his dog.
• Wiggum: License please? [Troy hands his license] Says here you need corrective lenses.
  Put those glasses on, Mister. Troy: You wouldn't ask a handsome man like me to wear glasses?...
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....
• What a dog I got! His favorite bone is my LEG!