Related:

• CONVENTION REMINDER No experiment was approved for the convention by the Human Subjects Committee of the Psychiatric Convention Planning Team.
  If you notice smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button marked "450 volts", react as you would normally....
• 0429 Do you use the "P convention"? -- from THE HACKER TEST
• Psychic Convention : You know the time. You know the date.
• Hello and Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline ** If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2....
• Have you heard of the upcoming Schizophrenics' Convention in 1992?
  Don't miss it! Anybody who's everybody will be there!...
• If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage.
  They're just not ready. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I'm tenured, there's almost nothing you can do about it.
  (after making a mistake in sign convention)...
• Never jog while wearing wingtips--unless you are attending the Nerd Convention in Atlantic City.
  -- Mark Russell...
• Do you think the ghost of Dirk Richter haunts the bordello where his bullet-riddled body was found?