Related:

• They try to humiliate you in the hospital. They make you pee in a bottle.
  I hate that. I was in the hospital. The nurse said, "You have to pee in a bottle....
• The patient's taken a turn for the nurse.
• If I can't give my brave boys a kind word and a big smile, what _can_ I give them?
  Well, one or two ideas do suggest themselves, but you'd probably think they were unhygienic....
• Ah, Captain. I hope you're going to conduct yourself with a little more decorum this time.
  No, I'm going to conduct myself with no decorum. Shove off....
• The following appeared in a newspaper feature story.
  "At the small, nonprofit hospital in the town of Saluda, the average length of a patient's stay is two day...
• People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes.
  This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique -- no two alike....
• I just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark. -- S. Wrigh
• Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.
  Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049...
• Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available
  an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot....