FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a
horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
To Rome said Nero: "If to smoke you turn
I shall not cease to fiddle while you burn."
To Nero Rome replied: "Pray do your worst,
'Tis my excuse that you were fiddling first."
Orm Pludge
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"