Related:

• When I was growing up, my mom wanted me to become a priest, which I think is a tough occupation.
  Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you all the highlights of theirs?...
• You may be redneck... if you take a bath only once a week.
• Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week.
  Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days until the condition clears up....
• Carl: I hate these "Worker of the Week Award" ceremonies.
  Lenny: Who even cares any more? Everyone at work sure has already got one....
• A part time employee noted that his pay check was five dollars short of what it should be and went in and registered a loud, long and windy protest to the payroll office.
  Well," said the payroll officer, "you didn't come in last week when we overpaid you five dollars, with any complaint!...
• Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week. -- Work Rule
• Old Boston laws prohibit taking a bath more than once a week or without a written prescription from a medical doctor.
• You need tender loving care once a week - so that I can slap you into shape." -- Ellyn Mustard
• Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow may not come, This moment is but once in a lifetime.