Related:

• Seems like this duck waddles into a pharmacy, waddles up to the prescription counter and rings the bell.
  The pharmacist walks up and asks, "Can I help you?...
• Moe: Hey, uh, I got an idea: we can play a game to pass the time.
  Er, I'll make the sound of a barnyard animal, and, er, you all try to guess what it is....
• Two businessmen were having lunch and they started talking about world problems, high taxes, the cost of living, their families.
  And one of them says very proudly, "I have six boys....
• his hat tumble-dries to a stop]} Homer: {[putting it on] Mmm, I _can_ feel three kinds of softness.
  } Lisa: {Dad, what are you doing down there?} Home...
• Homer: One for "Honk", please. Ticketeer: Oh. Gee, uh, just a minute.
  I have to check with the manager. [to manager] That overweight guy wants to see the movie....
• I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head.
  Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them....
• I call a wrong number. A guy on the other end says, "Well, what number did you dial?
  Well, did it ring at your house? Then I guess it's yours, Mr. Wizard!" -- Larry Reeb...
• I need some duck tape. My duck has a quack in it.
• When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.
  -- Richard Cardinal Cushing...