Related:

• Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked.
  So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Computer generated voices:) 1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
  2: Yeah, nobody but us machines! 1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up!...
• Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb.
  It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom....
• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you....
• I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out-of-the-body experience.
  In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatte
  o if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker....
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....