Related:

• He *really* needs a girlfriend.
• If the devil doesn't exist, but man created him, he has created him in his own image.
  -- Dostoyevski...
• He who fights the devil with his own weapons, must not wonder if he finds him an overmatch.
  -- South...
• My girlfriend's father died of throat trouble. They hung him.
  He used to work in a bank. But no matter how much the boss likes you, if you work in a bank you can't bring home samples....
• BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Did you hear about the basketball player who was so tall that his girlfriend had to go up on him.
• There is no devil; it's God when he's drunk.
• Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart? Homer: New glasses?
  Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him....
• What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass!