Related:

• Hi. This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number.
  .. and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the F....
• Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
  If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number....
• Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
  If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now....
• Answering machine message "Thank you for calling the United States War Department.
  At the tone, please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message with the name of the country you wish to invade....
• If I Only Had A Brain":) I might be in the shower, I might be gone for hours, I can't come to the phone.
  So, please leave your name and number, If I miss you it'd be a bummer, Leave your message at the tone....
• I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep.
  Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the....
• You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society.
  Please leave a message after the tone and we'll get around to it....
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• Annoying flute music in background:) Good day, Jim.
  Your contact, Linda, is not available right now....