Related:

• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring.
  Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at the end of Van Halen-1....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you....
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatte
  o if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker....
• Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls.
  So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone....
• I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
  If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone....
• Hi! I can't answer the phone right now. Bob, that's my pet parakeet, just swallowed a cherry bomb.
  It wasn't lit, but I've got to get him to the bathroom....