Related:

• One day a gate breaks down between heaven and hell.
  So St. Peter arrives on the scene and calls out for the devil....
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to go home to my family.
  Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this, but....
• There are two jazz musicians who are great buddies.
  They hang out and play together for years, virtually inseparable....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• Theme music from Peter Gunn:) My name is David. What people call me is something else entirely.
  I'm a P.I. It says so on my door. I would have been here to take your call, but then....
• At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be solved.
  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology available....
• A piece of string goes into a bar, climbs up on a stool and orders a martini.
  Bartender says "Get outta here, we don't serve no strings in this joint....