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  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaadddy....
• How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to hold the light bulb, two to spin the ladder....
• How many new men -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to change it and one to hold the baby....
• How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her....
• How many university students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold it and one to turn him around....
• How many Princeton students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two, one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician....
• How many lesbians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to screw it in real good and one to call the gynaecologist....
• How many Soviet emigres -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair....
• How many old macrobiotics -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Five. One to change it, three to hold the ladder, and one to call the ambulance....