Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete/Successfully in business. Cheat.
BIBLE = A collection of fantastic legends without any scientific support...
full of dark hints, historical mistakes and contradictions.
BIRTH = The first and direst of all disasters.
CHRISTIAN = One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired
book admirably suited to the needs of his neighbor. One who
follows the teachings of Christ so far as they are not incon-
sistent with a life of sin.
HISTORY = An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are
brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
IRRELIGION = The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
LABOR = One of the processes by which A acquires the property of B.
MAMMON (Riches) = The god of the world's leading religion.
PHILOSOPHY = A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
PRAY = To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a
single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
RELIGION = A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature
of the Unknowable.
REVOLUTION = A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the
safety valve of public discussion is ended.
SAINT = A dead sinner revised and edited.
-- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "The Enlarged Devil's Dictionary" (1906)
[And I thought *I* was a cynic! -=- Roger]
