Related:

• What's the last thing that goes through a grasshopper's mind when he hits your windshield?
  His ass. What's the second-to-last thing to go through a grasshopper's mind when he hits your windshield?...
• When a person goes on a diet, the first thing he loses is his temper.
• Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else.
  He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!...
• A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. -- Henry Morga
• Mind your p's and q'
• My brother-in-law has found a way to make ends meet.
  He goes around with his head stuck up his ass....
• An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.