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• We've just received the results of a survey conducted to ascertain the various reasons men get out of bed in the middle of the night.
  According to the report, 2% are motivated by a desire to visit the bathroom, and 3% have an urge to raid the refrigerator....
• The woman hurried home from her doctor's appointment, devastated by the medical report she had just received.
  When her husband came in from work, she told him, "Darling, the doctor said I have only twelve more hours to live....
• ARE YOU ADDICTED TO SLASHDOT? Take this short test to find out if you are a Dothead.
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• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.
  -- Tellis Frank...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• If it walks out of the refrigerator, just LET IT GO!
• Monica is in her bed but can't fall asleep] Monica (voiceover)
  If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes....