When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ear, fed up with paying the
tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set out
to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead
them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a
progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions
for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations.
-- Nicolas Juzda's entry to the 2001 annual Bulwer-Lytton contest
Related:
Quote #560
Unwittingly, Bob pressed the Enter key ending a stream of zeros and ones
in electronic form across the computer's bus, through the processor, out the
serial cable, through the 56K modem, and into the seamy and unfathomable
world of the Internet where his MasterCard number became as ubiquitous as
the cute chord that plays when you boot up a Windows based computer....
Quote #554
Rodney knew that he was going to die a horrible creaming, unspeakable
death, when he arrived on the bridge in a uniform that did not match the
others, was referred to only as "yeoman" and was to be sent planetside with
Captain Kirk and the regular away team....
Quote #552
Kirk's mind raced as he quickly assessed his situatio he shields were
down, the warp drive and impulse engines were dead, life support was failing
fast, and the Enterprise was plummeting out of control toward the surface of
Epsilon VI and, as Scotty and Spock searched frantically through the manuals
trying to find a way to save them all, Kirk vowed, as he stared at the solid
blue image filling the main view screen, that never again would he allow a
Microsoft operating system to control his ship....
Quote #565
Virgule gazed across the vast, cold eel expanse past his inquisitor to
witness the full consequence of his previous decision - feral, withered
children, in tattered, filthy garments, toiled mindlessly at his command in
a single chamber which reeked of oil and burning animal flesh - his time had
come to deliver the final instructio...
Quote #557
Carlotta lay on the mound of pillows strewn about the floor of the
poolhouse back arched and head thrown back, screaming the name of the only
man who had ever taken her to the pinnacle of unbridled ecstasy, the only
man with whom she had experienced the overwhelming rush of carnal
electricity - unfortunately not the man who now peered up at her from the
tangle of hastily discarded clothing with the sullen and quizzical visage of
a calf looking at a new gate....
Quote #550
"I could tell you stories about this road we shall be traveling he old
man told his young companions as he leaned on his staff and stroked his
silver beard, "of how it was built by Dwarves of the Barad-dur in the days
of Thranduil the Great, numberless years before the Elves of the Ered Luin
left their silver woods in Lindon, sailed their ships over the Western Sea,
and passed from the knowledge of men, but what would you learn from these
tales, except that I squandered my college years reading far too much
Tolkien instead of meeting girls....