Kirk's mind raced as he quickly assessed his situation: the shields were
down, the warp drive and impulse engines were dead, life support was failing
fast, and the Enterprise was plummeting out of control toward the surface of
Epsilon VI and, as Scotty and Spock searched frantically through the manuals
trying to find a way to save them all, Kirk vowed, as he stared at the solid
blue image filling the main view screen, that never again would he allow a
Microsoft operating system to control his ship.
-- Mike Rottmann 's entry to the 2001 annual Bulwer-Lytton contest (Winner
in the category "Science Fiction")
Related:
Quote #554
Rodney knew that he was going to die a horrible creaming, unspeakable
death, when he arrived on the bridge in a uniform that did not match the
others, was referred to only as "yeoman" and was to be sent planetside with
Captain Kirk and the regular away team....
Quote #549
When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ea fed up with paying the
tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set out
to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead
them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a
progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions
for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations....
Quote #550
"I could tell you stories about this road we shall be traveling he old
man told his young companions as he leaned on his staff and stroked his
silver beard, "of how it was built by Dwarves of the Barad-dur in the days
of Thranduil the Great, numberless years before the Elves of the Ered Luin
left their silver woods in Lindon, sailed their ships over the Western Sea,
and passed from the knowledge of men, but what would you learn from these
tales, except that I squandered my college years reading far too much
Tolkien instead of meeting girls....
Quote #560
Unwittingly, Bob pressed the Enter key ending a stream of zeros and ones
in electronic form across the computer's bus, through the processor, out the
serial cable, through the 56K modem, and into the seamy and unfathomable
world of the Internet where his MasterCard number became as ubiquitous as
the cute chord that plays when you boot up a Windows based computer....