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• Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
  -- Brendan Beha...
• Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
  -- Brendan Beha...
• Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be done, whether you like it or not.
  Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you a hundred virtues which the idle never know....
• And now that you know how it's done... Don't do it.
  -- Troy McClure narrates a sex education film, "Bart's Friend Falls in Love...
• How many Jewish mothers in law -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  (cue typical accent, shoulders hunched...) None, they'll just sit in the dark, they know you can't be bothered to do a simple thing like change a light bulb for them, and after all they've done for you....
• Who invented cottage cheese? And how did they know when they were done?
  It looks like it's already been eaten. Never buy anything you have to order by the size of its curd....
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• Maude: I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven.
  Mrs. S: He said it was his day to use the tub pillow....
• It must be done like lightning. -- Ben Jonson (1573-1637) -- Every Man in his Humour, Act iv, Sc.
  v...