Related:

• Lisa: [dragging Bart back to the stairs] Why do you have to make this so hard?
  ! Bart: I'm using non-violent resistance....
• Purrloiner: A cat in your lap.
• If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you
  but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. -- Alfred North Whitehead...
• Beverly: "Worf, the big guy who never smiles. The *Klingon*!
  Will Riker, your first officer! He's...he's very good at poker!...
• There's always 1 more SOB than you counted on.
• Marge: So in a few months, both of you will have a brand new brother or sister.
  Bart: Been there, done that. Lisa: I hope it's a girl....
• You know you don't look too well when you go to your 35 High School Reunion Party and someone in the class asks you "Tell me, was it your sister who died?
• You may be redneck... if your mother turns out to be your sister.
• Moe: [answers the phone] Yeah, just a sec; I'll check.
  [calls] Amanda Hugginkiss? Hey, I'm lookin' fer Amanda Hugginkiss....