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• No one is interested in my underpants.
• Hey Underpants, I'm talking to YOU!
• I'm sorry, my IQ's over 80. You wouldn't be interested.
• Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested, and say nothing about the other.
• Look at them! They've jumped on the one franchise I might possibly have considered thinking about becoming interested in.
  -- Oh, that's a downer, Marge, "The Twisted World of Marge Simpso...