Related:

• Homer: Why don't people like me, Marge? Marge: Mmm, everyone likes you, you're a wonderful person.
  Homer: Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?...
• Homer: And by the sacred parchment, I swear that if I reveal the secrets of the Stonecutte
  may my stomach become bloated and my head be plucked of all but three hairs -- Moe...
• Number One: Homer Simpson, for your continuing and baffling desecration of our beloved sacred parchment, you are hereby banished from the stonecutters forever.
  And as a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the Stone of Shame....
• Number One: This ritual is called...Crossing the Desert.
  [Homer gets paddled on the butt by Hibbert, Skinner, Brockman, Krusty, Moe, Quimby, and Willy in succession] Number One...
• Homer: You were right, Lisa: I've never felt so spiritually fulfilled.
  And with my brothers the Stonecutters behind me, this is the beginning of a better world for all of us....
• Carl: Let the initiation begin. Number One: All Stonecutters must take the Leap of Faith.
  If you survive this five-story plunge, your character will be proven....
• Number One: Tonight we are here to commemorate our glorious society's 1500th anniversary, and in honor of this momentous occasion.
  ..we're havin' ribs. [everyone cheers as caterers roll carts out] Home...
• Lisa: This is terrible! People will start to avoid Springfield.
  Homer: But what can I do? I'm just...[counts "One" on fingers] one man....
• Homer: I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff!
  And I want in. Carl: We don't, uh, know what you're talking about, Homer....