Kent: Now, Over The Years, A Newsman Learns A Number Of Things That For One Reason Or Another, He Just Cannot Report.

Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
Bart: Why'd they make that one muppet out of leather?
Marge: That's not a leather muppet, that's Troy McClure....
Krusty: [looking over] Hey, nice quote uniforms, endquote.
Kent: [pretending] This just in, a new addition to our worst-dressed li...
Kent: This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate.
Remember, by the way, to tune in at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge Simpson put the cat out....
Carl: Oh no! He's going over the falls! Lenny: Oh good.
He snagged that tree branch. Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!...
Marge: [checks her watch] One more hour. Homer: An hour?
I can't wait another hour. What's keeping that stupid comet?...
Scott: And now over to Kent Brockman for some grim economic news.
Kent: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office....
Marge: I want you to take Larry back to Mr. Burns right now, before you get in a lot of trouble.
Homer: But the.. wh.. Marge! It's broad daylight and there's cops everywhere!...
Homer: Now that we're all alone, Marge, admit it: you like Lisa best!
Marge: No! Homer: Oh, so you're a Bart woman, are you?...