Moe: [sniffing a cigar] Ah, this place is going to smell classy all
week.
Barney: To Homer, the Wall Street genius!
[everyone claps as Homer bows]
[Homer lights a cigar with a $1, then puts out the flame and
puts it back in his wallet]
Lenny: Hey, Homer! How come you've got money to burn? Or singe,
anyway?
Carl: Yeah, Homer, what's your secret investment?
Homer: Take a guess.
Barney: Uh, pumpkins?
Homer: [pause] Yeah, that's right, Barney. This year, I invested in
pumpkins. They've been going up the whole month of October and
I got a feeling they're going to peak right around January.
Then, bang! That's when I'll cash in.
Barney: To Homer, and to Sergeant Pepper, who's growing out of the
middle of your back.
Moe: Uh, Barn, you gotta unwrap the plastic before you smoke those.
-- Moe, carcinogen expert, "Homer vs. Patty and Selma"
