Patty: Hmm...am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?
Homer: Request permission to slink by.
Patty: Permission pending. First...light our cigarettes.
Homer: But you're already smoking cig --
[they stub them and take new ones, clearing their throats]
You're really pushing it.
Selma: Come on, Homer: you can't spell "obsequious" without I-O-U.
Homer: I'll have to trust you on that.
Patty: Well, Marge was always a good speller...let's ask her.
Homer: No! Don't tell Marge. I'll be good, I'll be good!
[lights their cigarettes, then tries to light the IOU]
Patty: Tut tut tut! Just for that, you have to crawl around on the
floor like the dog you are.
Homer: [stammers] Yes, ma'am. [gets on all fours]
[the twins laugh]
Patty: Now say, "I am Homer Simpson, the lowly dog" -- in a dog's voice.
Homer: I am Homer Simpson...
Patty: Good, good. Jump, Homer, jump!
-- No end to the humiliation,
"Homer vs. Patty and Selma"
