Wiggum: We're Still Not Close. Boy! This Is Going To Be An All-night Brain-buster.

Wiggum: We need two cups of coffee, and two orders of bite-sized breakfast pancakes.
With extra dipping sauce. Kid: Please pull up to the service window, please....
Wiggum: [awakening] Oh! Oh. Eddie: I had an idea, Chief
why don't we check out that suit Burns was wearing when he got shot?...
Smithers: Mmm...this guilt is driving me _mad_! I've _got_ to tell someone.
[walks into a church; goes to the confession booth] Father, I'm not a Catholic, but....
Marge: Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe and that you've recovered and that we can all get back to normal.
If Maggie could talk I'm sure she'd apologize for shooting you....
Kent: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important.
I'm Kent Brockman. [scene shows Burns being loaded into an ambulance] At three p....
Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your father was identified by the old man himself....
Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers] Aah!
Aah! Waylon Smithers! Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute...
Burns: Now before we begin, let me make one thing clear for you.
I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me you're all vipers!...
DNA guy: Ooh, nice eyelash. Yours? Wiggum: No. We need to find out who it belonged to.
We want a DNA test. DNA guy: Ooh, ooh, ee, ooh, ooh, that takes, uh, eight to ten weeks....