Related:

• Marge: [writing] "Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield I would like to invite you to judge our film festival.
  [cut to Jay reading the letter in New York] You can stay with us, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country....
• Patty: OK, Sherman, you're a movie expert. Selma: So tell u
  who's gay? Jay: Oh, I don't know...Harvey Fierstein....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Oh yeah? [pulls out a trophy] Well _I_ won the belching contest at work.
  [belches in Jay's face] [everyone laughs] Jay...
• Lisa: Goodbye, Mr. Sherman. If I ever play Carnegie Hall, I'll give you a call.
  Jay: And if you ever want to visit _my_ show -- Ba...
• Waiter: [fried shrimp for Lisa] Here you go... \\ [pork chop \'a la // Hawaiian] There you are.
  .. \\ [a smaller serving of fried shrimp] For the baby....
• Marge: I knew this would happen. I put you on the jury and you vote for the stupidest film.
  Homer: I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I'm sleeping with the head of the festival....
• Homer: Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know _all_ the words to the Oscar Mayer song?
  Jay: [walking past, singing] Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, [Bart and Lisa join in] That is what I'd truly like to be....
• Jay: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman, thank you.
  Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9"....