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• he doorbell rings] Marge: Oh, I invited my sisters over.
  Jay: Ooh, sisters. Allow me. [walks off to answer doo...
• Marge: Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop.
  Homer: But I'm still hungry! [under the table, Jay's and Homer's stomach growl at each other like dogs] [Homer's frightens Jay's into whimpering] Jay...
• Marge: Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer.
  Jay: Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane....
• Announcer: Coming up next, "The Flintstones" meet "The Jetsons".
  Bart: Uh oh. I smell another cheap cartoon crossover....
• Marge: [writing] "Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield I would like to invite you to judge our film festival.
  [cut to Jay reading the letter in New York] You can stay with us, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country....
• Homer: Oh yeah? [pulls out a trophy] Well _I_ won the belching contest at work.
  [belches in Jay's face] [everyone laughs] Jay...
• Jay: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman, thank you.
  Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9"....
• Lisa: Goodbye, Mr. Sherman. If I ever play Carnegie Hall, I'll give you a call.
  Jay: And if you ever want to visit _my_ show -- Ba...
• Homer: Patty, Selma, I'm sorry. [hugs them] Selma: He's hugging us.
  What do we do? Patty: Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver....