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• he doorbell rings] Marge: Oh, I invited my sisters over.
  Jay: Ooh, sisters. Allow me. [walks off to answer doo...
• Marge: Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop.
  Homer: But I'm still hungry! [under the table, Jay's and Homer's stomach growl at each other like dogs] [Homer's frightens Jay's into whimpering] Jay...
• Marge: All right: it's time to vote for the grand prize.
  Jay: I vote for Barney Gumbel's sensitive yet unfortunately-titled film, "Pukahontas"....
• Homer: Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know _all_ the words to the Oscar Mayer song?
  Jay: [walking past, singing] Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, [Bart and Lisa join in] That is what I'd truly like to be....
• Patty: OK, Sherman, you're a movie expert. Selma: So tell u
  who's gay? Jay: Oh, I don't know...Harvey Fierstein....
• Marge: I knew this would happen. I put you on the jury and you vote for the stupidest film.
  Homer: I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I'm sleeping with the head of the festival....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: [writing] "Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield I would like to invite you to judge our film festival.
  [cut to Jay reading the letter in New York] You can stay with us, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country....
• Homer: [laughing hysterically] This contest is over!
  Give that man the $10,000. Jay: This isn't "America's Funniest Home Videos"....