Related:

• We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies?
  For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?
  Captain What's-his-name? -- Homer Simpson Marge Be Not Proud...
• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
• Bart: Buy me Bonestorm or go to Hell! Marge: Bart! Home
  Young man, in this house, we use a little word called "please"....
• Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security.
  That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting....
• Ned: OK, folks, look: I called the police captain in Shelbyville.
  He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up in the morgue, he'll fax us....
• Homer: I'd give anything to get into the Stonecutters.
  Lisa: What do they do there, Dad? Abe: I'm a member -- Home...
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying...