Related:

• Bart: Why'd they make that one muppet out of leather?
  Marge: That's not a leather muppet, that's Troy McClure....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Troy: [drunk] Yeah, it's a good idea, Homer, but they've already made some movies about WW II.
  Homer: Ah, hell... Well, what about Dracula? Troy...
• Woman: I've been waiting for you, Lisa. Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
  Woman: Your nametag. ["Hi, I'm Lady Lisa"] Would you like to know your future?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....
• Marge: Selma! You're back from your date already? Selma
  Yeah. I was so upset I ate a jar of expired olives....
• Bart: Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
  Homer: Don't worry, boy, he'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday....
• Selma: Are you gay? Troy: Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem!
  No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost....