Related:

• Yeah... well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon.
  Look! -- Abe vs. Judge Muntz, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Mrs.K: Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather. Van Houte
  Uh, how many of you have a house? [children raise their hands] Van Houte...
• Abe: Well, at least I got to show you I wasn't always a pathetic old kook.
  .. Bart: You never were, Grampa. Abe: Oh... I'd hug ya, but I know you'd just get embarrassed....
• I got this in the second World War II...
  -- Abe shows off his Hellfish tattoo, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Bart: You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish.
  Burns: Oh, am I? [aims his gun at Bart] Abe: No!...
• Abe: You really think I can do it? Bart: [unconvincing] Uh, yes.
  .. -- I'm so glad you believe in me, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Abe: [spits] Bart: Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, but I have to work with these people.
  Abe: Oh, jabberjack. Schoolhouse don't put up spittoons, I ain't responsible....
• Back then, I was known as Sgt. Simpson, and I commanded the Flying Hellfish, the fightingest squad in the fightingest company in the third-fightingest battalion in the army.
  -- Abe starts his story, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Burns: Don't kill me... Abe: I ain't gonna kill ya, that'd be cowardly
  Monty Burns cowardly. I just want to watch you squirm....