Related:

• Man 1: Excuse me, we wanted to see the geek who valued the happiness of his children more than money.
  Homer: [unenthused] Right here. Man 2: Aw, you said his head was the size of a baseball....
• Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
  Bart: Dad, you punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it....
• Otto: Oh, man! He'll blow our winning streak. Moe
  Yeah. Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
  [points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?...
• Homer: Well, I guess it's back to college for me. And that means it's time to -- what did I teach you guys?
  Nerds: [timidly] Par - ty - down? Homer: Yess! -- Woo hoo!, "Homer Goes to College...
• Announcer: Coming up next, our feature race: the Nuclear Power Plant Championship.
  Plant plant! Burns: Ah, at last. Smithers, fetch the bi-oculars....
• Homer: {Wait a minute...} there's one thing I don't understand.
  In all those years, why didn't you ever try to contact me?...
• All but Homer: Come on, Homer! Come on, Homer! Pretend this is baseball and hit us a homer!
  [Homer gets a strike; they cheer] Home...