Related:

• Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
  -- Samuel Goldwyn, when told his son was getting married...
• Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
  Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries....
• Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
  Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries....
• Man: Hey, there, Kirk... Kirk: [excited] Oh, boy, what's going on?
  Patio party? Man: No, a possum drowned in the pool....
• Marge: Homer! Homer: What?! Marge: Are you ready? Home
  Just gotta put my shoes on! [Homer is in his underwear, playing with slot-cars] Marge...
• And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span? -- Matthew 6:27
• Lisa: Isn't anybody going to show up? Lovejoy: Well, Lisa, we've waited an hour.
  [clears his throat, reads] Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to Blood and Guts Murphy....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• The good man prolongs his life; to be able to enjoy one's past life is to live twice.
  -- Martial (40-102 AD) -- Epigram x, 23...