Abe: He was right under my nose the whole time. He lives in my
retirement home. His name is Malloy.
Lisa: Wow! How'd you track him down, Grampa?
Abe: Good question! On one of my frequent trips to the ground, I
noticed Malloy wore sneakers...for sneaking.
My next clue came yesterday at the museum. We felt slighted by
your age-bashing, and started home. Malloy said, "I'll catch up
with you."
[Malloy shoots a rope over the building]
I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There was something
strange about the way he walked -- much more vertical than usual.
And finally, Malloy, unlike most retired people, has the world's
largest cubic zirconia on his coffee table.
Homer: Aw, Dad, I could kiss you!
Abe: Well, kiss me right here. It's the only part that still has
feelings.
-- Sherlock Abe, "Homer the Vigilante"
