Related:

• Deprogrammer walks out of the room] Deprogrammer: Well, it was a gruelling two weeks -- but you have your son back.
  [Hans Moleman walks out] Ha...
• Homer: Mom, I'm sorry I never come to see you. I'm just not a cemetery person.
  Here lies" -- Walt Whitman?! Aargh!...
• My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!
  -- Hans Moleman introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Homer: Son, I know you're upset because you thought you saw us on TV saying we didn't want you in our family.
  But those were just actors playing us! Ba...
• Homer: Honey, I'm home! Marge: Hello, dear. How was work at the plant?
  Homer: It's not a plant, Marge, it's a tree, and I've nearly chewed through it....
• Moe: {When I say, "Put your beer on a coaster," I mean it!
  } Hans: {You call that a knife? This is a knife! [pulls a huge blade from his cane] [It's too heavy for him to hold up] [weakly] Ooh, down I go....
• Lisa: Hi, I have a request. I would like you to do a tribute to Bleeding Gums Murphy, please.
  DJ: Aw, I'd love to, little sister, but we don't have his album....
• Wiggum: All right, Simpson, you're free to go. Home
  Let me just finish this last lobster tail and raspberry tort....
• Chief Wiggum, P. I." will return -- right now! -- Announcer, "The Simpsons Spinoff Showcase