Related:

• My name is Otto, I looove to get blotto.
  -- Otto introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the courts made me come.
  -- Homer introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Moleman: A poem, by Hans Moleman. I think that I shall never see, My cataracts are blinding me.
  [flower wilts] Conway: [still in skunk costume] And they thought I stunk....
• Ned: My name is Ned. All: Hello, Ned! Ned: It's been 4,000 days since my last drink.
  It was my first -- and last -- blackberry schnapps....
• Lovejoy: Homer, with our help, you'll never touch a beer again.
  Homer: Aaah! [jumps out the window] -- The Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Wiggum: All right, Simpson, you're free to go. Home
  Let me just finish this last lobster tail and raspberry tort....
• Lisa: Hi, I have a request. I would like you to do a tribute to Bleeding Gums Murphy, please.
  DJ: Aw, I'd love to, little sister, but we don't have his album....
• I was sitting with a little girl of eight one afternoon.
  She looked up from her Hans Andersen and said, "Does m-i-r-a-g-e spell marriage, Mr....
• Deprogrammer walks out of the room] Deprogrammer: Well, it was a gruelling two weeks -- but you have your son back.
  [Hans Moleman walks out] Ha...