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• If you get hungry in the middle of the night, there's a open beer in the fridge.
  -- Barney Gumbel, your gracious host, "Homer's Night Ou...
• Homer: Look Barney, see the row of tiny lights up there?
  The middle one is my house. Someone must've left the porch light on....
• Barney: [comes into Flaming Moe's] All: Barney!
  Bartender: How's the world treating you, Mr. Gumbel?...
• Barney: So next time somebody tells you carney folk are good, honest people, you can spit in their faces for me!
  Lisa: I will, Mr. Gumbel, but if you'll excuse me, I'm profiling my dad for the school paper....
• Jay: And now, the winner of the grand prize. [tears open an envelope] Barney Gumbel!
  Barney: What? Wow! Burns: [shudders] Marge: Homey, you voted for the right movie....
• Homer: Hello, is this President Clinton? Good! I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it'd be you.
  ...Shut up! Assistant: Excuse me -- Homer: Aah!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: So how was the office birthday party? Home
  Oh, it was de-lightful! The frosting on the cake was this thick!...
• Kirk: Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want.
  Today I drank a beer in the bathroom. Home...