Related:

• Barney: [discovers the salad bar] Hey, what's this?
  Moe: A sneeze guard. Barney: [sneezes, spewing snot all over the sneeze guard] Wow, it really works!...
• When the weight of the world has got you down and you want to end your life.
  Bills to pay, a dead-end job, and problems with the wife....
• Moe: Please, not in public. Man: You be dying!
  Barney: Whoa! How European!...
• Barney: My friend [Moe] and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
  Patty: [maces him] Barney: Waugh! [belch] Ooh, wow!...
• Moe: [seeing a photo of Congressman Arnold and Lisa in the paper] Aw, isn't that nice.
  Now <there> is a politician who cares. Barney...
• Moe: So, come on: I need a name that says friendly, all-American cooking.
  Homer: How about, "Chairman Moe's Magic Wok"? Barney...
• The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink?
  [everybody in the bar spits out their drink] Uh, figure of speech....
• Homer: [mumbling] Moe... Moe... Moe... Marge: Bart, are you going to mow the lawn today?
  Bart: Okay, but you promised me mo' money. Marge...
• There's a party down the hall. You know this apartment complex really caters to up-scale singles like me.
  [belch] -- Barney Gumbel, your gracious host, "Homer's Night Ou...