Man: I'm sorry, Mr. Burns, but I must object. This Simpson is not
qualified!
[There are nods of agreement]
Burns: I see. Well, you know, fellows, I look at the admissions board a
lot like a baseball team. You all like baseball, don't you?
[Everyone assents]
Yes, well, to have a successful baseball club, you need teamwork,
[Smithers hands him a baseball bat] not some hot-dog admissions
officer playing by his own rules!
[Burns starts hitting the man in the head with almost no force]
Man: [noticing] Er, excuse me, what are you doing?
Burns: I'm giving you the [grunt] beating of your life!
Man: Look, if -- stop that! -- you wanted him that badly, why didn't
you just say so?
Burns: [collapses from exertion] Smithers, dismember the corpse and send
his widow a corsage.
-- "Homer Goes to College"
