Related:

• I can't wait to be arrested and go all the way to the witness stand.
  Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you, God?...
• Judge: Hello, Bart. Now, you do understand the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, don't you son?
  Bart: Maybe. Judge: Uh huh. Well, you wouldn't lie to the United States, would you, Bart?...
• Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class.
  Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge...
• Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement.
  But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement....
• Marge: [hearing radio] Mmm...this sounds awfully controversial.
  Lisa, you _know_ I don't like controversy in this house....
• Homer: [thinks to himself] She's been your wife for ten years, you've had three children together, it's time to be honest with her.
  [out loud] I'm not sure I love you any more....
• Quote #514 Basically, I have this theory that there are five kinds of truth.
  (This is Joe's Theory of the Five Truths.) There is the truth you tell to casual strangers and acquaintances....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...