Related:

• This is the most stirring display of gallantry and sportsmanship since Mountbatten gave India back to the Punjabs.
  -- Tearful announcer, "Dead Putting Society...
• Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
  Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!...
• Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?
  Captain What's-his-name? -- Homer Simpson Marge Be Not Proud...
• Marge: Bart, assume the position. Bart: [turns and leans against the wall, legs spread] Marge
  [frisks Bart] -- Leaving for church, "The Telltale Head...
• A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.
  -- Homer, "The Telltale Head...
• Just a statue? Is the Statue of Liberty just a statue?
  Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza [sic] just a statue? -- Homer, "The Telltale Head...
• I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us who rollerskate and smoke cigars?
  -- Homer Simpson, on Heaven The Telltale Head...
• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions.
  The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead....
• Homer: Ooh, look at this one! The Hammer of Thor! (Reading) "It will send your pins to .
  .. Valhalla?" Lisa? Lisa: Valhalla is where vikings go when they die....