Related:

• Mr. Simpson, we'll send a wood-paneled station wagon over for you immediately.
  -- Dave from the National Fatherhood Institute, "Saturdays of Thunde...
• You're not Dave. Who are you?
• Dave: So I was working in an insurance company, right?
  Youngest VP in the history of the firm, okay?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• One morning, four years ago, something happened that I will never forget.
  I woke up, and I looked at myself in the mirror, because I happened to wake up in the bathroom, and I said to myself, "Dave, you have a wonderful wife, you have a newborn son, you have a good job, you have friends who care about you, you have a lawn mower that starts on the second or third pull--you have everything a man could possibly want, and a whole lifetime ahead of you to enjoy it in....
• Dave: [in a wooden voice] Represented on this next float is Roger Myers Sr.
  who founded his company in 1921, and struck it big when he teamed up a mouse named Itchy with a cat named Scratchy....
• Homer: What are you doing! That putter is to you what a baseball bat is to a baseball player!
  What a violin is... to the... the guy that....
• Barbara: George, it's time to get dressed. George
  N'uh huh. Not going outside today, not with those neighbors....