Related:

• Wiggum: A-ha! I had a feeling we'd find you here! [shoots] Lou
  Chief, no! Eddie: What'd you do that for? Wiggum...
• Lisa: Hey! Chief Wiggum, what are you doing? What's going on?
  Wiggum: I'm sorry, kid, we got Simpson DNA on Burns' clothing and your father was identified by the old man himself....
• Lou: Uh, Chief, what about those coleslaw punks? Wiggum
  Well, I... I can't be everywhere at once, Lou, now can I?...
• Lou: You know, the funniest thing though; it's the little differences.
  Wiggum: Example. Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know _all_ the words to the Oscar Mayer song?
  Jay: [walking past, singing] Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, [Bart and Lisa join in] That is what I'd truly like to be....
• Wiggum: All right, get in there. Lou: You're going _down_.
  Eddie: I want a piece of him. Wiggum: You think you're pretty hot, huh?...
• Banner: Are you the beer baron?? Ned: Well, if you're talking about root beer, I plead guilt- diddily-ildly as char-didily-arged!
  Banner: He's not the baron, but he sounds drunk....
• Homer: Kids, I wanna give you some words to remember me by, if something happens.
  Let's see...er...Oh, I'm no good at this. Lisa: [whispers into Homer's ear] Home...