Related:

• Homer: Uh...I'm out. Carl: No, no no, Homer, you have the Royal, um.
  ..Sampler. [three six ten jack king] Home...
• Quimby: Watch it, you walking tub of donut batter! Wiggum
  Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby. Quimby: You don't scare me....
• Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
  Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is. Wiggum...
• Bart: Chief Wiggum, think you have room in your jail for a two-time loser?
  Wiggum: Well, no, frankly. But that never stopped us before....
• Burns: But, where are you taking me? What's happening?
  Wiggum: Relax. You've gone off your nut, so we're stuffing you into an old folks' home....
• Lovejoy: Do you see a light, Homer? Homer: [disembodied] Yes.
  .. Lovejoy: Move into the light, my son. Homer: [a buzzing is heard] Aah!...
• Wiggum: [picking up the phone] Who is this? Skinne
  It's me, chief. I'm on the other extension. Big Daddy...
• lide of Dr. Hibbert] Mrs. Hibbert: Julius! [slide or Chief Wiggum] Mrs.
  Wiggum: Clancy! [slide of Skinner] Chalme...
• Ah, nothing beats a good porno movie. -- Chief Wiggum, "I Love Lisa